"During the last days, when 'all things shall be in commotion', the restored gospel of Jesus Christ provides so many essential things, including precious perspective of seeing 'things as they really are.'
"The eminent historian Will Durant wrote of the human need 'to seize the value and perspective of passing things....We want to know that the little things are little, and the big things are big before it is too late; we want to see things now as they will seem forever in the light of eternity.' (The Story of Philosophy, New York: Simon and Schuster, 1927 p.1).
"The gospel's illumination provides so much greater perspective for us concerning the role of the family.
"Before citing some challenges to family life, consider first, how living without God in the world brings a functional lack of consistent perspective. If there were no eternal truths, to what principles would mortals look for guidance? If not accountable to God, to whom are we ultimately accountable? Furthermore, if nothing is ever really wrong, then no one is ever really responsible. If there are no fixed boundaries, then there cannot be any excesses. Why should we be surprised then, at so many disturbing outcomes, including the lack of community, when every man does that which is 'right in his own eyes' and seeks not the righteousness of the Lord but instead walks in his own way?
"Reflect for instance, on how inoperative the Ten Commandments are in many lives. Today, killing, stealing and bearing false witness still carry some social stigma, and legal sanction, but sanction is effectively gone regarding sexual immorality, the Sabbath day, honoring fathers and mothers, and the taking of the name of the Lord in vain. Some of this decline represents the bitter harvest of ethical relativism, the philosophy of choice of many, reflecting no fixed, divine truths but merely the mores of the moment. No wonder Ortega y Gasset wisely warned, 'If truth does not exist, relativism cannot take itself seriously.' (The Modern Theme, New York: Harper & Row 1961)"
He then went on to describe terrible trends which, in his opinion, if left uncorrected, would lead to an even worse coalition of consequences, such as the number of children being born illegitimate, more children having no functioning fathers, the increase in children not living continuously with their biological father and mother throughout childhood, the increase in high schoolers contracting STDs, the number of children whose (both) parents are working outside the home, leaving the children to their own devices.
He continued, "...Healthy, traditional families are becoming an endangered species! Perhaps one day, families may even rank with the threatened spotted owl in effective attention given.
"As parenting declines, the need for policing increases. There will always be a shortage of police if there is a shortage of effective parents! Likewise, there will not be enough prisons if there are not enough good homes.
"There is as we all know, much talk about family values, but rhetoric by itself, cannot bring reform. Nostalgically, many wish for the family life of yesteryear; they regard family decline as regrettable but not reversible. Others, genuinely worried over the spilling social consequences, are busy placing sandbags downstream, even then the frenzied use of sandbags often destroys what little is left of family gardens. A few regard the family as an institution to be drastically redefined or even to be rid of.
"There are no perfect families, either in the world or in the Church, but there are many good families. My spiritual applause also goes to those heroic parents--left alone by death or divorce--who righteously and anxiously engage in nurturing and providing for their families, often against such heavy odds.
"Alas, in some families things do go wretchedly wrong, but these gross failures are no reason to denigrate further the institution of the family. We should make course corrections and fix the leaks, not abandon ship!
"Much modern despair and violence grow out of unhealthy attitudes towards any authority, including that in families. Thirty five years ago (1959), a BBC commentator worried that 'we are turning out adults...who will be even less capable than their parents in raising children with a sane attitude toward authority, and so an insidious avalanche may be developing, gathering a ghastly momentum from generation to generation." (The Listener 12 Feb 1959)
"The 'ghastly momentum' increases as profound social changes now occur in only a few years.
"Unfortunately, it is easier to praise the family than to create a successful family. It is easier to talk of family values, than to implement those values. It is easier to rejoice over our rich memories of a good family than to provide the rising generation with its own rich memories.
"The hard doctrines however, insist that we ask some hard questions:
1. How can a nation nurture family values without consistently valuing and protecting the family in its public policies?
2. How can we value the family without valuing parenting?
3. How can we value parenting if we do not value marriage?
4. How can there be love at home without love in a marriage?
"So many selfish tugs draw fathers and mothers away from each other and away from their children.
"In contrast, so much of the Restoration" (of the gospel of Jesus Christ) "focuses on fundamental principles pertaining to the family, including the sealings of eternal famlies. Latter-day Saints therefore have no choice but to stand up and to speak up, whenever the institution of the family is concerned, even if we are misunderstood, resented, or brushed aside.
"After all, mortal families predate the founding of nations, and families will exist after the Almighty 'hath made a full end of all nations.' For Latter-day Saints though, it is to be done in the Lord's own way, every year should be the Year of the Family...There should be less wringing of hands and more loving arms around our families."
He continued, "Attending to family duties includes really teaching our children to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God. What a different view of parenting from that of the world. There is an emerging but unjustified tendency" (witness the current abortion on demand, Day After pill, condoms in schools), "to treat children as if they have the capacity for unrestricted adult experience. We may not be able to change such trends, but we can refuse to be a part of them.
"When parents fail to transmit testimony and theology along with decency, those families are only one generation from serious spiritual decline...The law of the harvest is nowhere more in evidence and nowhere more relentless than in family gardens! We stress again the available remedies of family prayers, family home evenings, and family scripture study...applying basic remedies will take some time and will not fix everything immediately...In the face of such challenges, we need more mothers who know the truth, whose children do not doubt their mothers know it.
"In the healthy family, we can learn to listen, forgive, praise, and to rejoice in the achievement of others. There also we can learn to tame our egos, work, repents, and love. In families with spiritual perspective, yesterday need not hold tomorrow hostage. If we sometimes act the fool, loving family know this is not our last act; the curtain is not rung down.
"To some, these remedies, and things like them, may seem too simple to heal a society stung by so many afflictions. In afflicted ancient Israel, some also disdained the simple, divinely provided remedies, and they perished.
"Obviously, family values mirror our personal priorities. Given the gravity of current conditions, would parents be willing to give up just one outside thing, giving that time and talent instead to the family?
"Society should focus anew on the headwaters--the family--where values can be taught, lived, experienced and perpetuated. Otherwise, we will witness even more widespread flooding downstream, featuring even more corruption and violence.
"If the combination of rainmakers prevails however, the rains will continue to descend and the floods will continue to come. Dikes and sandbags downstream will be no match for the coming crests. More and more families, even nations, if built upon secular sand instead of gospel granite, will suffer."
He warned, "Nations in which traditional idealism gives way to modern cynicism will forfeit the blessings of heaven, which they so urgently need, and such nations will also lose legitimacy in the eyes of their citizens. Amid the Babel of prescriptions from so many kinds of voices in the world, rescuing and redeeming perspective requires our coming to know who Jesus Christ is, how He lived, and what He died for." He concluded, "After all, it is Jesus who has given us commanding perspective concerning families." (Neal A. Maxwell, Take Especial Care of Your Family, April 1994, www.LDS.org.)
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