Justice and Mercy

I had a long conversation with my dearest friend Wendi the other day about Justice and Mercy. It was quite illuminating. She has spent the entire summer studying this topic in depth. 

As we conversed, she gave several examples of instances where we demand justice, not content to let God oversee justice. There is a difference between the justice we demand and, IMO, God's justice, which largely holds someone accountable for his or her actions. Accountability in my viewpoint, is the natural consequence of a decision we make or don't make. For example, if I fail to pay my electric bill and the electricity gets shut off: is that justice? Or is that SCE holding me accountable for my lack of action? One could argue either side of the coin. One could also argue SCE could extend mercy, and not shut off my electricity.

What we usually demand however, is our justice, which is really more akin to vengeance. Someone does us a real or imagined injury, and we demand they pay for it with the uttermost farthing, to the nth degree. 

I'll give an extreme example. When my Ex beat up my daughter, I had an opportunity to see justice prevail by having him arrested, convicted and (perhaps) serve jail time. Instead, like many women in these situations, I allowed (a false sense of) mercy to rob true justice and hold him accountable for his actions. I then spent the next 7 years demanding emotional justice (vengeance): the family court system needed to validate he was an evil guy, the church needed to take action because he was an evil guy etc etc. That he was (is) an evil guy, is true. But here's the important lesson: I had my chance at justice, and chose (false) mercy, then regretted choosing mercy (because I errantly thought mercy=letting him off the hook) and demanded that my brand of justice/vengeance be substituted instead. What's ironic is that if I had not allowed mercy to rob justice, I would not have had to spend the next 7 years demanding personal vengeance: the court system would have (justly) kept him at bay for me.

More frequently are the minor offenses (not crimes) we allow to mushroom into our own personal nuclear wars because we demand "justice." My mother literally just went to her grave having not spoken to, or interacting with, anyone in my immediate family for over a decade, including her grandchildren, because of some real or imagined slight she had been dealt  by me or mine. She demanded that justice be served by substituting coldness and distance rather than sociableness or congeniality. She allowed her demand for personal justice (vengeance) to rob her of attending or participating in all of my childrens' baptisms, ordinations, graduations, other key celebratory events, or conversing about things that she and I previously enjoyed.

My sister has taken up her torch by refusing to inform me of my mother's passing, refusing to inform me of burial services etc.  In her desire to demand personal justice (i.e., " I'll make my sister pay the utter most farthing by keeping the death as secret as can possibly be done") what she has really done is rob those from the community at large who would have offered condolence and support to my mother's other children and family; taken away the opportunity from others to serve in time of grief, lend a kind hand, word or deed. All because her view of justice (really vengeance) must be meted out.

I realized something profound during my conversation with Wendi. It's this: when we demand that our own personal level of justice/vengeance be substituted for God's justice, what we are really saying is we don't believe that God will actually mete out justice. Worse, what we really mean is: I have to mete out justice instead of you God, because I know you won't act in my best interest.

Ponder that for a few minutes. It's pretty profound.

God has told us repeatedly that He's got justice handled. I think we err thinking God's mercy "lets us off the hook," rather, included in God's justice is that he allows us to experience the natural consequences (good and bad) of our behavior and decisions. I think the mercy part (and it's just my opinion) is that with God (versus our brand of justice), at some point the bad consequence ends.

 Additionally, Christ warns us in Matthew 5 (The Sermon on the Mount) that unless we are willing to set aside our own personal desires for vengeance, extend personal mercy and rely on God to handle the justice, our vengeance will boomerang on us, and we won't escape it until WE have paid the utter most farthing.

Sadly, in my mother's case, paying the utter most farthing was all too real. Having spent the better part of her adult life meting out personal justice, she missed out on a lot of joy. When I was busy making sure that personal justice was dealt to my Ex, I extended his control over my life. 

When I learn to extend mercy, what I get back is peace. I get back freedom. I get back energy. I get back love. I don't end up wasting my life bogged down carrying the heavily weighted bundles of negativity, anger, and hate.

God speaks this clearly in Exodus 14:14: "The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace."

I'll close with the memorable words of a 12 Step program:

Let Go and Let God.

And rest in peace, Leona.