COMMON CORE

I received the following email today from the Executive Director, Terri Novacek, of the Dehesa Charter School based in Escondido, California. (Emphasis in italics mine). It read:

"Many have heard, for better or worse, that California has adopted Common Core Standards. The DCS staff have been collaborating and designing ways to incorporate the new Common Core into our personalized methodology. We are finding the new standards to be much more in line with our philosophy of depth vs. breadth, and creative and critical thinking than the current standards. Next year, you will be presented with new learning plans that align with the new standards. FOR THOSE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH CHANGE, PLEASE TAKE A DEEP BREATH and give it a chance before you judge. I think you will appreciate the new approach to meaningful learning.

Sincerely, Terri Novacek, Executive Director"
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Here's what you might not already know about me. WE HOME SCHOOL. Dehesa Charter "School" is a private corporation which has created an educational umbrella so that people who want to homeschool, but don't feel comfortable "R4ing it" can have access to curriculum money and IEP services. Dehesa gets ADA money (Average Daily Attendance) just like public schools do, as well as money for state testing. In return, they parcel out about $300 PER STUDENT for the year for curriculum purchases. 

Ironically, they now want to dictate the public school Common Core garbage being forced next year onto public school students, but they aren't willing to ADHERE to the public school MINIMUM spending per student requirements. Hmmmm......audit anyone?

Terri Novacek's letter is representative of exactly what is wrong with the public education system (clearly, from whence she hails.) If we object to Common Core (like, if I didn't have a problem with CC, my kid would be in public school) we're just hysterical, uneducated parents. It's the enlightened, superior educators such as herself who really know what's best for our children.

I'm one of those people who have been aware for THREE YEARS that California was adopting Common Core. Like it was a surprise. The only surprise was that California gave all the publishers two years to create their new social engineering doctrine textbooks. 

This is not the first condescending, belittling communique Dehesa parents have received from Mrs. Novacek. I doubt it will be the last. But contrary to Mrs. Novacek's belittling belief, as a PARENT, I really do have choices about my children's education. I really can vote with my pocketbook. I really can OPT OUT of testing. You really CAN'T force me to LIE on my child's attendance record so you can falsify your submission to the state for ADA money.

People who know me, asked why I sent my child(ren) back to Dehesa after last year's campaign by Mrs. Novacek to remove parents from their childrens' classroom education (we have the "option" of sending our kids twice a week to a physical location for 'enrichment' classes). Actually, until that meeting, I wasn't aware that going to the location was "optional." I sure as heck wasn't sending my children there because they provided me with $200 worth of textbooks (puhleaze. Like I can't write a check for it?)

It was because my son especially, made a case for "finishing" with his "friends" (he's middle school age). 

I appreciate the heads up Terri darling. Good luck with that next year....when you're unemployed due to all your parents leaving in droves, don't ask me for a reference.

Victor, not Victim

I know a few women who were horrifically and for long periods of time, sexually abused by relatives. A friend of mine served on a jury where a man was on trial for murder. He too had been sexually abused as a child.

This is an evil, horrific, tragic, thing. I wish the evil doers a speedy trip to hell.

But this is not a story about their evil. This is a story about a few women's triumphs.

I remember the day when I decided I couldn't control my past, but I COULD control my future. It was the day I decided I was no longer going to live in fear, wondering if the next time my (now Ex) walked in the door, was that day going to be my last? I decided to take back control of my life, divorced my unworthy-of-me Ex, and moved on with my life. I decided to Let Go and Let God.

I wasn't always successful. There were days when the only thing which kept me from being vengeful was the sure knowledge that "he" wasn't worth my doing 25 to Life in a state penitentiary. But this post isn't about me, either. Just wanted you to know I've been there, done that, too.

It's about two other women, both of whom still wear scars from their past. They both still live like "everything's a secret", and maybe always will. 

But one of them has started her own business (Google's a wonderful/scary thing) and it looks like things are really breaking her way. I'm glad for her. She deserves success, joy, and good things happening in her life. I hope that the day comes when she feels secure enough, that she realizes that she deserves, truly, all the good things that happen to her. She has chosen to look forward, not backward (I'll acknowledge there might be some denial in there too.)

The other had the exact same tragic childhood circumstances. But she still allows it to color her future, it impacts her weight (someday I'll write a book about that), her relationships, and the relationships she allows her girls to have with her Ex, their father. She has settled comfortably in the belief that everyone is out to harm her, so she makes sure that she harms first, denying others (including her children) joy. I'm sure she does this unconsciously, and can't ever figure out "why bad things keep happening to her," but every self-fulfilling act just adds to the victim mentality.

My heart aches for anyone who has suffered at the hands of an abuser. I know the feeling of wanting to be rescued. I just wish I could beam a magic thought in to their heads: YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO RESCUE YOURSELF. You really are. You've survived abuse, you can survive and thrive in a life without abuse. 

If you have been victimized in the past, choose today to be a victor.

If you are still being victimized, get out, get help, and quit giving them control over you: choose to be a victor.

Whether it is something as serious as abuse, or something as small as a moment of rudeness or insensitivity, YOU can CHOOSE to be a Victor, not a Victim, and open the door to the wonder of life's goodness.

You can do it. I know you can.

God bless you.

I'm OVER living in C.H.A.O.S.

CHAOS stands for Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome. 

It's a Flylady soundbite. Actually, the reality is, when my house is spotless (rarely), it's the best visitor deterrent around. It's when my house is in disarray (usually) that the world wants to stop by.

Being unemployed has gotten me back in the "moving" mindset. During the real estate heyday here in California a few years back, we moved four times in two years as the places we were renting were sold out from underneath us. Every time we moved, I shed an inordinate amount of stuff. We still have a ton. My brother calls it the 10,000 cockroach theory. When you get rid of one, 10,000 more appear to take its place.

So. I'm back in the mode of decluttering and cleaning. Theoretically, first off the bat I would make sure all the beds are made and spend 2 minutes in the morning (and evening) clearing out a "hot spot," (places where stuff gets dumped.) For me, that's the top shelf of the Muffin Monument (we have a small bookcase which showcases our deceased dog's memorabilia) and the wingback chair right at the home entrance. 

I'm to "swish and swipe" (wipe down, straighten up) the main "public" bathroom, and kitchen counters. 

Spend 5 minutes an evening "clearing a path" in a room (getting stuff off the floor, maybe vacuuming). I've added sweeping the kitchen floor.

Additionally, spend no more than 15 minutes a day decluttering and/or cleaning a Zone. This week it's the front porch, home entrance, and dining room.

Well, it took a while to clear and clean my kitchen counters this morning. But now that they're clear, I can see it will only take 2 minutes to wipe down this evening. Same for the bathroom. It still needs a bit more work, but that's what the 2 minutes are for. Last night the kids spent about 5 minutes picking up the living room so it could be vacuumed.

I've taken a break to write this blog, will take DD16 to college, go pick up some dish soap that I'm about to get practically free with coupons, then come and spend 15 minutes tackling the dining room (which also doubles as our library.)

Looking forward to living CHAOS free ! :)

Faith or Fear?

It's interesting. Despite the truth that we are far better off than many would be in our situation, I find myself often giving in to fear, rather than living by faith, or hope. Part of that fear is fueled by the chaos here in America and around the globe. It worries me (always has) that we are not secure in our person(al) situation, our property, or our papers.

It's interesting, this inclination I have to discard faith and dance near fear, because I've done my share of 12 step programs. I know that sometimes you just have to "Let Go and Let God." An acquaintance of mine recently wrote on his blog about trusting in God, rather than trusting solely on your own strength (ok, he wrote more than that, but that's my take away.) 

I tell a friend of mine frequently, that I would feel more secure if I owned my own home. Or was debt free. But as I reflect on it, that's not really accurate either.

I know someone who lives in Michigan (yeah, I'm talking about you !!!) who if I recall right, managed to become debt free except for his house while being unemployed for a year. That's living by faith !!  I know someone who lives in Oklahoma who not only survived but thrived when her husband and son were both unemployed for 18 months. That's living by faith !

I'd be interested to hear your comments about how you have lived by faith rather than fear. Doesn't have to be monetary, or religious. Just wondering how you keep your sanity, while all about you are losing theirs <grin.>

The Marriage Covenant

Few of us remember what the Marriage Covenant really means. And I'm likely not going where you think I might be going.

It's laid out pretty clearly in the Old Testament in several places, starting with Genesis 2:19-25. The six periods of creation have already happened (Genesis 1), in verse 19, the Lord brings all the creations to Adam and has him name them. There is no help(meet) for Adam, so the Lord creates a woman, and (this is the point most people know, but miss) joins them together as husband and wife in a marriage covenant.

Think about that. What kind of covenant is that? Death has not entered the world yet, so it is an eternal, everlasting, covenant of marriage, made so because it was performed by the Lord Himself. A covenant and the blessing pertaining to the covenant made by the Lord, is never broken by Him, but is often cast away by us. A covenant has fixed terms and blessings. When we choose to accept the Lord's covenant, and its terms, we receive its blessings.

In the original marriage covenant, the Lord extended eternal companionship, an eternal family unit, eternal offspring (multiply and replenish) among other things. But in order to obtain those blessings, one has to choose to come into the covenant, and be bound by it.

I'll accept that it's hard to get all that from Genesis 2. How do we know that this is true? We know that Adam (and Eve) were given authority directly from God to perform work and his covenants. Abel for example, was authorized by Adam to perform sacrifice, Cain was not, he had to go through his brother, which didn't sit well with Cain. You know the result. But I digress.

We know that the authority to establish and perform eternal marriage covenants continued down through Adam's descendants. We know this because the Lord extends the same covenant with Abraham and Sarah (Genesis 17:1-16). It continues through Isaac. Abraham is very concerned that Isaac not marry outside of the eternal marriage covenant (Genesis 24:1-7) and so he sends him to "his people" who are living within covenant, to choose a wife who has been brought up within that framework of authority. This is how we get Rebekah.

Later, Rebekah sees that of her two sons, Esau is not covenant minded, while Jacob is. Esau demonstrates this initially by selling his birthright covenant for food (the " but it's what I want " mindset). He then chooses to marry outside the covenant (Genesis 26:34-35). In doing so, he accepted his marriage would be a shadow of glory, rather than the eternal marriage he could have had by accepting God's terms in covenant of eternal marriage. Covenant marriage starts by marrying someone who is already living within (or willing to live) the terms of the covenant (duh.) The Hittites were not. This choice of Esau's caused his parents great sorrow.

A small segue. Years pass. Esau becomes a great nation. He becomes very wealthy. Eventually he becomes reconciled to the fact that he never was personally willing to abide by the terms of God's covenants and he and Jacob are reconciled. But this is the part we miss: all the reconciliation and long-term civil contracts made, still do NOT give Esau an eternal marriage covenant.

The story is repeated with Jacob. His parents, having learned they need to be more pro-active, send Jacob to an area populated by people already living God's covenants. There he meets Laban, and is married by eternal covenant to Leah and then Rachel.

Here's the point. Like Esau, you can call it whatever you want. You can get a piece of paper and call it marriage, but unless it is performed by God, or someone possessing His true authority, you can't call it a covenant, eternal marriage, nor can you expect to get all of the blessings from one.

Isaac and Rebekah didn't "sorrow greatly" because Esau married the girl down the road. They "sorrowed greatly" because they saw him rejecting God and His covenants, and by default, chose the consequences of that decision (Genesis 26:2-5.) They did everything they could to guide him into a different choice, but he still chose to "marry out." 

It's interesting that after this Isaac and Rebekah didn't just throw in the towel, saying, well, that's it. There aren't enough women living within covenant, so we'll just accept that our sons have to marry whoever they can find. Or take the position that covenant marriage was too difficult so we'll settle for a civil (non-covenant) marriage, or if that's even too hard, we'll just do away with marriage altogether.

No. They decided to dig in, and do all they could  to make sure that their other children had a chance of an eternal, covenant marriage. 

We have that same choice today. On Tuesday, the Supreme Court of United States is going to hear cases to determine whether or not the civil marriages we perform in the United States are going to be thrown out entirely, by changing the entire definition of marriage. 

Before you read this blog, you might not have been able to see how far away we have stepped from what God established. God established the blessing of eternal, covenant marriage for us. Most of us have stepped away from that into a civil marriage which lasts only until "death do us part." Civil marriage nice as it is, is a shadow of what marriage could be. Most of us don't know how or where, or what we need to do in order to qualify for a covenant marriage. Far fewer of those who do know how, where or what, choose to do it.

So we have stepped from a knowing covenant, to a (usually) unknowing civil shadow, and now we stand poised to accept not even that. 

Personally, I want you to have the chance of a covenant marriage. Because I want you to have that opportunity, even if you don't know where or how to get it, or even if you're not sure you want it right now, I am not going to do anything to lower your chances of getting one. 

That means I'm not  going to support the entire rewriting of marriage as an institution. I'm not going to support replacing echoes of marriage glory with complete and utter darkness. I know that people will take their little slingshots and hurl big boulders my way because of that stand. I'm okay with that. My kids do the same thing when I say "no" to something I believe will cause them harm. 

I care about you enough to not help you hurl yourself off a marriage cliff. I just hope you care enough about yourself to come to a screeching halt, and realize just how close to the edge we all are.

HomeFront Pest Control

BUYER BEWARE.  Seriously. If you live in southern California, and they come to your door, do yourself the biggest favor, and slam the door in their face. 

I made the mistake of signing a contract for services with them (this would be the company at 537 West Rincon Str., Corona CA in case there is another company out there with the same or similar name.)

It was a mistake because they perform poorly. At the time, I had huge wasp nests all around my house. They came and removed half of them (left the nests on the ground, rather than removing them). I had to call to get the rest of them removed, which they resisted, because "their worker said he had removed them all."

That should have been my first clue this company was going to be nothing but trouble. Since then they have shown up without an appointment, wanting to spray when it was raining, show up to perform when I am not here, etc. etc.

I don't know why, given their abysmal track record of service, I thought we would be able to reach a deal when we became unemployed. Nope. Either "pay us a $170 cancellation fee, or schedule your 3 remaining appointments for service." I'm not the only one they have pulled this con on . It's just unfortunate that I didn't have the presence of mind to do some research on them before I signed a contract.

Moral of the story: be unwilling to sign a contract with a door to door salesman, no matter how smooth talking they are. Do your research quickly and cleanly. Even falling prey to petty lies, if I had been smarter, I would have checked their reputation (there's a reason I know I'm not the only one) and been able to cancel within 3 days. Put in a force majeure clause which states that in the event of a loss of employment (yours) the contract is null and void.

Of course, the best recourse of all is to work with a reputable vendor who has some integrity.

My Heroic Husband

The reason why my DH was let go from work corresponds to an earlier post in February: Bullying. I choose to write about it in the event it helps someone out in cyber-land.

About 6 weeks ago, DH came home from work and told me about an incident which, although the behavior had been ongoing, had come to a head that day. One of his subordinates had been terrorizing, bullying and harassing two women at work. DH had finally had enough, and reported him to management. He came home and said there was a good chance he'd get fired for his intervention. I told him if he got fired for standing up for the right, I was good with that all day long.

So we weren't too surprised when the women involved, fearful for their jobs, discounted the severity of the incidents, passing them off as "harmless." We were disappointed that the company chose to do the "easier" thing, rather than the right thing.

Choosing the "easier" path rather than the honorable road, is not an uncommon reaction. We recently found this article published by the Workplace Bullying Institute. 66% of people who fight back against workplace bullying are fired!  

http://www.workplacebullying.org/individuals/solutions/wbi-action-plan/

On a broader scale, if you ever wanted tangible evidence of our decayed educational system, you're seeing it in that statistic. When we took God out of our schools (more specifically, His teachings, i.e., the Golden Rule), and replaced it with "we can't hurt anyone's feelings, even if they do something bad," this is the result. Isaiah saw our day (Isaiah 5:20) when he stated "Woe unto them who call good evil, and evil good..." 

Did you know that the translation of the word Woe, is more accurately translated in english as cursed?  The next time you are reading scripture, substitute "cursed" for the word "woe." It will blow your mind. Take Isaiah 5:20 for example. Cursed are those who call good evil and evil good....

Applied to our situation, the company is cursed (they kept a bully rather than choose the good), we're "cursed" in that we no longer have employment (somehow, I think that in the long run, we're going to be better off, I just have to say,) and the women involved who were too afraid to shine the light on evil, still remain in that environment, victimized. 

This is not a "woe is us" post (pun intended.) This is a call to action. Edmund Burke (an Irish philosopher, politician and considered the founder of Conservatism) said "All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." If more of us shined the light on evil, and exposed it for what it was, evil would shrink and wither away. If more of us we teach the Golden Rule in our homes, insist on it in our schools and communities, we change the tide of rampant evil.

We can change lives for good, if we simply choose to have the courage to stand up and be counted among the righteous. Standing against tyranny comes at a cost. Sometimes one just has to decide that the cost of ignoring it, is too high.